"Won't Somebody Please Think of the Children?”

by Project Interfaith Program Coordinator, Sierra Pirigyi
             
  “A Catholic and an atheist walk into a bar . . . and fall in love.”  Okay, cheesy, I know.  And only half-true (there was no bar involved).  But I am an atheist in a serious relationship with a pretty serious Catholic.  And sometimes that’s not easy.  Not at all.  We’re both just about polar opposites on the belief scale.  Me with my non-belief in gods, souls, the afterlife . . . My boyfriend with his Bible and daily prayers. Our relationship works out because, in reality, our morals and values are almost completely in line—we just hold them for different reasons.  That’s all good and fine, but we do talk about having children one day (in the far, far future).  What happens then?

                 This question is really hard for me to ponder.  I always imagined my future children going to Camp Quest, not Bible Study.  Can they go to both? Would that be utterly confusing for them? Probably.  So what’s a future mom to do? Parenting in any interfaith relationship can’t be easy, but how much harder is it when one person doesn’t even believe in God in the first place?

                I might not believe in God, but I do believe in learning from the experiences of other people.  Books, facts and statistics are great, but in my experience the most beneficial advice I’ve gotten is from my friends, family and other people I know.  There’s nothing like talking or listening to someone who has been in the same (or a very similar) situation as you.

                This is why I am so particularly excited for Project Interfaith’s upcoming program, “All in the Family: Having Healthy Relations in Multifaith and InterfaithFamilies” on February 16.  This program is part of our brand new Parenting Series, and for me, this particular topic could not be any more relevant.  A panel of four interfaith couples from the Omaha area will be discussing their experiences as an interfaith family and the steps they took to decide in which faith to raise their children.  There are four models of interfaith parenting: 1) Exposing children to two or more faiths without emphasizing one over another, 2) Making a conscious decision to raise children in the faith of one partner, without the other partner necessarily converting, 3) Choosing a third faith other than those of the parents to raise the children in, and 4) Raising the children not clearly in a faith tradition.  “All in the Family” will feature couples illustrating each of these models.  They’ll talk about the strengths and challenges of the model they chose, lessons they’ve learned, and will give advice to others considering these models or still searching for what will work for them.

                It’s so important to me for us to figure this out before we have children.  Which model will work best for us? What considerations need to be given to our respective belief systems? How do we even start to have this conversation? I look forward to hearing the panelists share their knowledge and experience.  Even if I am light years away from being a parent, there’s certainly no harm in exploring this future dilemma now.  And considering the fact that one in four marriages in the United States are interfaith marriages, this topic has to be relevant to more people than just me.  So if you haven’t already, go to allinthefamily.eventbrite.com to register for “All in the Family: Having Healthy Relations in Multifaith and Interfaith Families.”  Even if you’ve decided on a model already, even if your kids are grown, and even if (like me) you’re nowhere near being a parent yet, I’m certain we will all learn something from this exciting new event.


Sierra Pirigyi is Project Interfaith's Program Coordinator.   She is currently a junior at the University of Nebraska-Omaha, double majoring in Organizational Sociology and Spanish.  Sierra is also working on a TESOL  Certificate and pursuing certification through the Nonprofit Leadership Alliance.  She has attended the University of Colorado-Denver and Metropolitan Community College as well.

Sierra previously worked as an Administrative Assistant for Project WISE, a Denver, Colorado non-profit working with low-income women.  This is what first sparked her interest in not-for-profit work.  Sierra began interning with Project Interfaith in February 2010, assisting in various fields until discovering her passion for programming.  Although currently undecided about her exact career plans, Sierra intends to continue working in the non-profit field, hoping someday to do humanitarian work with children and youth in Latin America.

Sierra enjoys learning about history, religion, philosophy and politics.  In her spare time, she likes to read and write.  

Getting Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

by guest blogger, Carol Lindsay

Why is Project Interfaith Important?

On a sunny day in New York my daughter went walking with two of her friends. They started talking about race and faith issues at their college. At one point the discussion touched on a sensitive subject and struggled to a stop.

“Why don’t you want to talk about this? Is it because I’m white?” one asked.

“Yes,” came the answer, “it’s because you’re white.”

“But you’re my friends! If I can’t talk to you, who can I talk to?”

A good question. Even among friends dialogue isn’t always comfortable. Worse yet, when you don’t have friends on the ‘other side’ of an issue – friends who respect you enough to tell you the truth – what can you do?

Project Interfaith presents a respectful, truthful space where you can talk. You can even ask questions and share confusion and frustration. There are also events where you can sit back, listen, and observe. You can learn interesting things. You can grow.

As a child I was taught exclusive lessons. Lessons designed to make me a little suspicious of people who were “different”. As I grew I found that those lessons were largely untrue. “Different people” weren’t so very different, and “similar people” possessed some very interesting differences.

I’ve learned a great deal. Is there more? Of course! The more I learn the more I learn I have a lot to learn.

And my daughter? She and her friends agreed that their friendship would survive an uncomfortable discussion. They talked gently to each other but they told their truths. Did they agree? No, but they listened to each other and found the sense in each point of view.

Carol Lindsay is a mom, wife, and Orthodox Christian, and technical writer. She had something to say and was compelled to share it. We are glad she did. Are you also a writer? Do you have experience with different faiths, cultures or belief systems? Are you passionate about interfaith work? Whether you’re a self-described blogging addict or a dabbler in the English language, Project Interfaith wants your submissions! Click here to put in your two cents.

Youthful Curiosity

by Project Interfaith board member, Mary Palu.

My husband and I have two amazing (in my slightly biased opinion) daughters, ages four and one. At Christmas our four-year-old daughter asked if we celebrated Hanukkah. We are Catholic, so the simple answer was, “No.” She then followed up with, “Why not?” Again, the simple answer was, “Because we aren’t Jewish.” Since she’s four that answer seemed sufficient to her.

But her question got me thinking about how we, as parents, can sustain the youthful curiosity our children have about other faith traditions. As a parent, I hope our daughters find a sense of love, hope, community and support within their own faith, whatever that may grow and evolve to be. But I also hope they embrace the way others in their lives choose to live out their faith.

So, here’s what I’m pledging to do to help make this a reality for my daughters.
1. Experience: Find opportunities for our family to see how others put beliefs into practice –attending services in other faith communities, participating in faith traditions with friends, etc.
2. Share: Share our faith traditions with our friends and ask them to do the same with us.
3. Read: Our girls love books. Find stories that explore faith in an engaging way. Here’s where I insert a shameless plug for Project Interfaith’s upcoming Children’s Storytime series! http://projectinterfaith.org/page/childrens-storytime
4. Listen: Use our children’s’ questions as opportunities for both them and us to learn and grow.

These are simple things, but I know it takes a concerted effort to make them happen. I’m sure there are lots of other ideas and I hope that others who read this might share them.

I’m honored to be a part of an organization that is dedicated to creating ways for people to not only understand, but actively engage and dialogue with those whose background and identity is different than their own. This is immensely important in creating a community that doesn’t just tolerate people of all faiths, beliefs and cultures – but embraces them in a way that makes all of our lives richer. In today’s world we need organizations like Project Interfaith that are doing this in a thoughtful, deliberate way.