"Won't Somebody Please Think of the Children?”

by Project Interfaith Program Coordinator, Sierra Pirigyi
             
  “A Catholic and an atheist walk into a bar . . . and fall in love.”  Okay, cheesy, I know.  And only half-true (there was no bar involved).  But I am an atheist in a serious relationship with a pretty serious Catholic.  And sometimes that’s not easy.  Not at all.  We’re both just about polar opposites on the belief scale.  Me with my non-belief in gods, souls, the afterlife . . . My boyfriend with his Bible and daily prayers. Our relationship works out because, in reality, our morals and values are almost completely in line—we just hold them for different reasons.  That’s all good and fine, but we do talk about having children one day (in the far, far future).  What happens then?

                 This question is really hard for me to ponder.  I always imagined my future children going to Camp Quest, not Bible Study.  Can they go to both? Would that be utterly confusing for them? Probably.  So what’s a future mom to do? Parenting in any interfaith relationship can’t be easy, but how much harder is it when one person doesn’t even believe in God in the first place?

                I might not believe in God, but I do believe in learning from the experiences of other people.  Books, facts and statistics are great, but in my experience the most beneficial advice I’ve gotten is from my friends, family and other people I know.  There’s nothing like talking or listening to someone who has been in the same (or a very similar) situation as you.

                This is why I am so particularly excited for Project Interfaith’s upcoming program, “All in the Family: Having Healthy Relations in Multifaith and InterfaithFamilies” on February 16.  This program is part of our brand new Parenting Series, and for me, this particular topic could not be any more relevant.  A panel of four interfaith couples from the Omaha area will be discussing their experiences as an interfaith family and the steps they took to decide in which faith to raise their children.  There are four models of interfaith parenting: 1) Exposing children to two or more faiths without emphasizing one over another, 2) Making a conscious decision to raise children in the faith of one partner, without the other partner necessarily converting, 3) Choosing a third faith other than those of the parents to raise the children in, and 4) Raising the children not clearly in a faith tradition.  “All in the Family” will feature couples illustrating each of these models.  They’ll talk about the strengths and challenges of the model they chose, lessons they’ve learned, and will give advice to others considering these models or still searching for what will work for them.

                It’s so important to me for us to figure this out before we have children.  Which model will work best for us? What considerations need to be given to our respective belief systems? How do we even start to have this conversation? I look forward to hearing the panelists share their knowledge and experience.  Even if I am light years away from being a parent, there’s certainly no harm in exploring this future dilemma now.  And considering the fact that one in four marriages in the United States are interfaith marriages, this topic has to be relevant to more people than just me.  So if you haven’t already, go to allinthefamily.eventbrite.com to register for “All in the Family: Having Healthy Relations in Multifaith and Interfaith Families.”  Even if you’ve decided on a model already, even if your kids are grown, and even if (like me) you’re nowhere near being a parent yet, I’m certain we will all learn something from this exciting new event.


Sierra Pirigyi is Project Interfaith's Program Coordinator.   She is currently a junior at the University of Nebraska-Omaha, double majoring in Organizational Sociology and Spanish.  Sierra is also working on a TESOL  Certificate and pursuing certification through the Nonprofit Leadership Alliance.  She has attended the University of Colorado-Denver and Metropolitan Community College as well.

Sierra previously worked as an Administrative Assistant for Project WISE, a Denver, Colorado non-profit working with low-income women.  This is what first sparked her interest in not-for-profit work.  Sierra began interning with Project Interfaith in February 2010, assisting in various fields until discovering her passion for programming.  Although currently undecided about her exact career plans, Sierra intends to continue working in the non-profit field, hoping someday to do humanitarian work with children and youth in Latin America.

Sierra enjoys learning about history, religion, philosophy and politics.  In her spare time, she likes to read and write.